Relationships

LIVE IT UP eNews!                                                                             January 2008

1. Relationships / Counselling

2. Recipe: Easy Omelette

Dear Reader

Well, here we are in the New Year, and it is now actually March, but this is January’s newsletter! Let’s decide that now and forever your life is abundant with everything that your heart desires, happy and healthy!

I’ve had a wonderful time over the break: I enjoyed fishing, eating the catch, a feast of mud crabs, sleeping, relaxing with friends and even did some work while I was away! You know who you are, hope you’ve been practising Mindfulness and stress management.

This year brings us many opportunities to take care of yourself, so let’s see that happen!

Warm regards, Narelle

1. Not Relating Together?

© Narelle Stratford 2008

We tend to think that a relationship is “something”. Just like a basket is “something that holds other things”, we think of relationships as though they are an object.

This is part of the reason that relationships can be so tricky. You see, we can’t hold a relationship in our hands, yet we can throw a relationship in the bin. We can’t always figure out what makes a relationship a relationship, but we usually know when we want to fix it or ditch it!

Is your relationship broken?

Sometimes, we don’t even recognise that the relationship is broken as we just drift along. Or, we know when it is broken, when the relationship was severed, or split up or terminated, and sometimes we know why it has broken down or split up, but most often, we don’t know what to do to fix “the relationship”.

We think, if I could just go back to the beginning….

We think, if he would just change…

We think, if she would just do this…

And often we spend too much time thinking and analysing, instead of doing and being.

In the beginning, there was wonder….

“Aah,” I hear you say, “and it was wonderful.”

All that chemistry and magic and laughter and special moments that connected you together…

Perhaps you were more involved in the doing and being of the experience than thinking about the relationship… And when you did think, you imagined the best that was to come.

But now if your relationship isn’t what it was… now you can feel the struggle, there’s no lightness inside you, no joy in your heart and recalling what used to be light hearted and joyous is hard to do.

What went wrong?

I am guessing, but most relationships break down because trust is broken by one or both parties.

Trust and relationships

Trust and what it implies, is another one of those words that you can’t hold in your hands, because it’s not an object. Yet trust in a relationship and no matter whether that relationship is between a husband and wife, a couple, an employer or employee, a brother and sister, or two brothers, (and so on) is like holding someone’s heart in your hands.

If your heart isn’t handled gently, you get hurt.

If your heart isn’t emotionally handled gently, you get hurt.

If your heart isn’t handled gently by head, hands and heart, you get hurt.

Trust – it’s super important in a relationship

This is the breakdown of trust. Once trust begins to be eroded, it is quite hard to recapture, although it can be done if there is sufficient desire by both parties.

How does one demonstrate that they are not trustworthy?

Through lies, deceiptfulness - such as hiding things, words that are hurtful and attacking, physical violence, emotional manipulation, frustration and anger.

Think of the words used, plus tone of voice and body language. Over time, sarcasm and negativity will bring many people to their knees, it’s like watching someone emotionally die before your eyes…

What actions do you take that breach the trust between you? There are so many, and often the partner just accepts the  behaviour (or doesn’t know about it) instead of addressing it.

How do you show your love?

How can you show love, which builds trust? Through spending time together, activities, words, work and play, and sometimes gifts.

How to tell someone? With words, poetry, songs.

Never underestimate the power of love in your voice to empower someone to be bigger and better than they could have been before…

Learn to let go for good if need be..

What if we weren’t meant to be together for a lifetime? What if we made a mistake? Should you stay in the relationship, unhappy, for the sake of your children? What will your children learn about relationships by modelling you and your relationship?

If you have stopped relating, then stop agonising, stop drifting, stop being in a rut (because the only difference between a rut and a grave is that the ends are kicked in) and let go.

Call it quits nicely and cleanly and know that it is okay to do so. It means that you stop hurting each other covertly or overtly. This will allow you to live and breathe freely and fully when you just let go of a relationship that is past its use-by date, and accept that its okay to do so.

Remember, there is no place so lonely as a relationship that is not working… If you are lonely in a relationship then get out of the comfort rut and do something to help you both.

If you need help to commence, repair, or let go of a relationship, do give me a call.

Master’s Wisdom!

“Spend time with me! And just Love Me”

 

2. Recipe: Easy Omelette

  • Serves 1 – 2, preheat oven/grill to hot.
Chop, slice or dice finely a quarter cup each of bacon, onion, celery, capsicum and broccoli. Fry bacon, onion and 2 cloves of garlic until almost cooked.  Beat 2 eggs and put aside, while you add other vegetables. Top with spinach leaves.
Next, pour beaten eggs over all ingredients, turn frypan to middle heat setting, and slowly cook for 3 to 5 minutes or so until egg has almost cooked through.
Top with grated cheese and pop into oven or under griller to melt cheese. Slide onto plate, or section into quarters and serve with salad.
Quick, easy, nutritious and delicious!